in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize