careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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