well I can't set my house on fire every night
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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