So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
3 2 1 whiskey
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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