Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
