Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
