We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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