Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
