the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
