Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
