Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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