This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
