I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
