What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I've blown a few things in my day
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
