the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
3 2 1 whiskey
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
