Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
