I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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