weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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