he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
