but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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