For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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