i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
