Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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