Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
