So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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