i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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