what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
