My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
