found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
