btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
he fucked my hip out of place.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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