i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
