and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
