so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
accomplished twins. life is a go
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You are the jesus of drinking
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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