I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
