dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
