You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
