8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
