Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
