she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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