wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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