Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
