It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
i out mim tonsoeep
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
