just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
