ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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