you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Randomize
