is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
