i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I have tasted many bathrooms
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
