I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
