Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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