i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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