im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
