just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
